Troy comes into work to look for a file and Brenda has surprise

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Christmas Crack: Just Say NO

Empty Roles would like to wish all of our readers and supporters a Happy Holiday and a very blessed and prosperous New Year.

Now with that said, I feel that it is the duty of Empty Roles to shine a light on the social behaviors that continue to occur.  I subscribe to the belief that if we do not recognize our disruptive behaviors, we will not possess the drive to change them. This is why Empty Roles, has elected to project these societal errors to our readers.

We are living in a world that is built on addictions, some of which are acceptable while others are not. Those that we deem as being acceptable we take extra efforts to defend and condemn those that disagree with our positions. I have to ask, is a person that spends their payroll check on crack cocaine and neglects to pay their bills any better than a person that goes into debt standing in line at Wal-Mart on Black Friday. Both individuals are participating in disruptive behavior. However society looks at one as acceptable while condemning the other. I would postulate that both scenarios create a breeding ground for empty roles. These behaviors have the possibility of removing vital resources from the family unit.

I feel that we as a society should just stand up and “ say NO” to the evils of Christmas crack. Instead of teaching our children to stand in line hankering for material goods we really don’t need, let’s stay  home and teach them how to take care of the things they already have in their possession.

Jerry’s Kids: The Role of a Pedophile

You can't turn on the news this week without being bombarded with the horrific sex scandal that has plagued the Penn State campus. It has been described as the most shocking event to ever surround college sports. It is an event that has caste a dark cloud on the campus as well as the coaching staff.  I believe that this incident has a direct relationship with empty roles. As, our society continues to progress we will witness more symptoms of this condition.

 Let me begin by stating that I think that it is truly a tragedy what has happened to those boys at the hand of Jerry Sandusky, and I feel that if he did what reports have alleged, he should be ashamed of his actions. The role of the pedophile that he filled is a deviate societal creation; and my heart goes out to the boys who have become victims and had their lives transformed because of the deeds of this man. I feel that every person is responsible for his/her own actions however there are catalysts in our environment that allow such deviance as these to occur and prosper.

An empty role is one of the most devastating things can happen to a community.  It can occur even if both parents are present in the child’s life.  It is the entity that has been instrumental in destroying the fabric of our society.  I would hope that when men and women make the conscious decision to separate themselves from their children, they realize that this may be one of the products of their choice. It also is very important for women, who have allowed the legal system to develop a hole in their families, to understand that this is a threat.

In the case of the young boys that were allegedly raped by Mr. Sandusky, I would propose that the role of hero, father or parent was absent in the majority of these boy’s lives. I have met many women who have invited such activities in their homes by looking for “a man that would treat their children as his own.” We have to be very careful with what we wish for, because it might come true. The Penn State incident would not have occurred if there wasn’t an empty role available. Jerry was allowed to fill this role. It is impossible to enter a room through a closed door and I think the outrage should also be extended to the parents that allowed their children to be exposed to this coach as much as the pedophile who walked through their proverbial doors.

The Women's Kingdom: One of the world's last Matriarchal cultures

By popular demand I am posting the two part documentary of the Musco people. This is a culture where the women are in charge. The men take care of the children and the divorce rate is the lowest in the world, zero. It is a place where women can have as many male partners as they chose.  This is where Uncles are more important than fathers. The only problems they have know is the tourist who are invading their way of life.

Part one and Two of The Women's Kingdom

                                        Part 1

Part 2

                

Arranged Marriages tend to be more successful..

In places like India, 90% of the marriages are arranged. They have one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. Is this a system that we, as Americans, should adapt? Marriage is a large part of our society therefore it shouldn't be unreasonable for us to enter into this institution with our "eyes" wide open. Our system of marriage is built on the emotion called "love",and all emotions are unstable.

The following video is a typical interview that modern Indians have with their potential life partners. This is a depiction of the couple first meeting. Good idea?

A Masculine Shoulder to Cry On / Talking is good for the Soul

It is a known fact that women live longer than males in our society (See http://statehealthfacts.org/comparebar.jsp?cat=2&ind=59). They enjoy longevity, even though they are burden with some the same stresses and harmful diseases that their male counterparts are also inflicted with. The female members of the Homo sapien species somehow survive and go on to live productive lives. Why they are able to be met the same challenges that their male counterparts are met with and have a better survival rate, is a mystery to many? Are these females naturally stronger than the men? We understand that early detection is one of the leading reasons that many diseases are not allowed to grow to their maturity, and many members of this order are known to take full advantage of the medical technology that is available to them. However, if this was the only determining factor that separated the females from the males, the statistical values would represent this, they don’t.   

It is true that these females are more involved in their health and that a large percentage of them are not participants in the riskier social behavior that the males enjoy,  however the reason that women tend to have a better quality of life has more to do with the makeup of human society. MEN ARE BREED FOR FAILURE.. It is that simple, society has systems in place that do not allow men to actively express their physical, social or emotional needs and because of this, these stresses become the catalysts for other diseases and disorders. Let me elaborate; consider the following statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hus/hus10.pdf#067).

Hypertension 2,3
(high blood pressure and/or				Uncontrolled high blood pressure
Sex, age, race and Hispanic origin 1 ,	taking antihypertensive medication)			among persons with hypertension 4
and percent of poverty level	1988–1994	1999–2002	2005–2008	1988–1994	1999–2002	2005–2008

Male . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .	26.4	28.8	31.6	83.2	73.3	63.8
Female . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .	24.4	30.6	29.8	68.5	61.8	48.5

The numbers postulate that men have had a steady increase in taking medications for hypertension since 1988 with a decline in cases of uncontrolled hypertension, moreover women have declined at a much higher rate than men. These numbers suggest that men ARE concern with their health, which is represented by their decline in cases of uncontrolled high blood pressure.  So the theory, that men are not involved in their health is untrue.

The reason that women tend to be healthier and live longer is simple, they have support groups. These support groups allow them a social vehicle to release stresses which creates, for them a lighter social burden. LESS STRESS = HEALTHIER LIFE.  They are not smarter or wiser, they just have found a way to adapt to their environment, and that way is through productive and active speech.

Winner’s Never Quit and Quitters Never Win

How many times have we heard this saying, when we were growing up?  I want you to think back to each and every time someone has had the audacity to articulate these so-called words of “encouragement” to you.  I would postulate that about 90% of the time it was when they were attempting to motivate you to do something that you did not want to do or something that you didn’t have the energy to complete.  I would like to speculate that quitting is not a bad thing, at least not always. I think that there are too many times in life when we prolong unnecessary suffering because we feel that at the end of these horrible journeys, we will receive some type of award. The truth is we won’t.

                I would also suggest that quitting things that we start is a huge part of our American society. It is what makes us who we are. A Nation of Quitters!!!

For example:

We quit on our children…

Percentage of children up for adoption in 2010

State	Alaska Native/ American Indian	Asian	Black	Hawaiian/ Other Pacific Islander	Hispanic (of any race)	White	Unknown/ Unable to Determine	Two or more races	Total N
Alabama	.0%	.0%	29.7%	.0%	9.4%	53.0%	.2%	7.8%	606

                                                                                                                                (http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb)

We quit on education…

Nearly 6.2 million students in the United States between the ages of 16 and 24 in 2007 dropped out of high school (http://articles.cnn.com/2009-05-05/us/dropout.rate.study_1_dropouts-enrollment-graduations?_s=PM:US)

We quit on religion…

Olson's findings contain a ton of bad news. For starters, his research found that the percentage of Americans regularly attending church is only 18.7%. (http://themoralcollapseofamerica.blogspot.com/2008/10/church-attendance-in-america-is.html)

And yes, we quit on our spouses…                                                                                                                                                         

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73% (http://www.divorcerate.org)

            As you can clearly see, quitting is a cultural norm and even though you may quit in one aspect of your life, in another you may become a winner...So let’s all raise our hands for the people who are not afraid to say “I QUIT”

Child Support laws have nothing to do with Supporting the Child

This is a topic that continues to come up. Child support is one of those laws that, on the surface appears to be a good morally based law. It appears to be something that will help support or prevent children from being neglected. This is not the truth. Child support laws do more harm to the child and the parent that is honestly attempting to support his child than it does to help.  I was going to do a show about child support years ago and never got around to it however after getting so many calls from so many friends of mine, who are suffering from the unfair child support orders they are under, I had to schedule a show.

                I am not suggesting nor am I petitioning for men or women, who hold this orders, to avoid their responsibilities however what‘s fair is fair and this just isn’t. I recently talked to a family member today who was asking about how he could modify his order. He has gotten married recently and has a child by another woman and because his child support is so high he is unable to support both children adequately. I told him that the order can be modified and it would be in his best interest to have it done. I also told him that this is the only way that he would be able to finically support both children.  

                I went on to tell him a story of a woman who knew that the judge had over charged her ex-spouse for child support however she said nothing because she knew that she would benefit from the mistake. In fact, she actually went to court and attempted to have her ex pay back support for one month of delinquency. Tell me where does that child benefit in this scenario? The child doesn’t because now the father, who currently lives in another state, is financially unable to visit the child as often as he would if he wasn’t being overcharged in this order.

                What orders like this create is a fatherless child, in most cases, which leads to higher crime rates and overcrowded jails and prisons. It is orders like this that continue to make minorities a permanent underclass while it turns the custodial parent into pimps. I child’s wellbeing is more than just money. The government understands that a lot of these parents come from poor communities and from a cycle of single parentlessness and if they dingle the chance of them getting money in their hands they will jump at the chance.  

                This blog is not for the male of female that is not paying support and have no desire to pay, rather if is for those that are trying to do the right things and have every intention of being a part of their children’s lives. The law continues to punish them and the child support recipients are active in this abuse.  This is why “The Exalted Nation of Truth,” has decided to ask for child support reform. Yes, it is time for all of those parents that have been and continue to be abused by this law stand up and be heard. It is time to look at these single parents, who fail at raising their children, because they chose money over a decent future for their children, and say to them “It is your fault, that your child has no respect for their absent parent. It is time for us all to write our lawmakers seeking a change in the law, before another helpless child is abused.

Why I chose Empty Roles? What does it mean?

          
I have recently gotten a couple of emails from readers wanting me to explain what the term “Empty Roles” mean and why I chose this name for my blog. The term empty role is an expression that I coined to describe the void that is left in your life when someone has left. In the field of sociology it is understood that everyone fills a role. The role and the person are two separate entities.  The role you fill in life is just a role, nothing more, it is not who you are, nor is it a description of your contributions to society.  Let me explain further.

You were born a human, that’s it, not a doctor, nurse, lawyer or Christian; these are roles that you picked up along the way. Think about it, when you were a child, were you a mother? No, you were just a child however when you got to the point in your life where you decided to bring a child into this world, you became a mother. I became a father when my son was born, prior to that I was just a human.  I was a socialized human because I behaved within the boundaries of what society had determined was reasonable but I was just a human.

The roles that we take on have specific characteristics, for example if you are a husband you will be expected to come home at night and to provide for your family. This role was established long before you were born. This role will exist whether or not you are there to fill it. If you have a child, and you are not present; that role will be empty. It is that simple.  This is why we should never limit ourselves to the roles we hold in life because they are only temporary.

When The Going Gets Tough.. The Tough Sometimes Just Get Mean!!!

During the dating process many of us have taken pride in saying "I would never to that," however when faced with the position of separation or divorce our attitudes are quickly changed. In some cases, it is the very thing that we have condemned others for doing in the past; that we find ourselves doing. I have heard many people say "that hell has no fiery like a woman scorn." I beg the difference, I don't think that a situation, no matter how ugly it may get, has the power to turn a good person into a bad one. I feel that the properties of meanness have to be present already.
Looking at the bible we can see an example that supports my position;

 The bible (starting in the book of Exodus chapter 5) documents the story of Moses being sent to Pharaoh with a demand from the Lord, to let God's people go. The Pharaoh refused to comply, however the bible states that God hardened his heart before Moses approached him. Yes, God hardened Pharaoh's heart so that he could bring horrible plagues upon innocent people... WRONG!!
The bible does state that GOD hardened Pharaoh's heart however it does not say anywhere that God made him disobey. I believe that in order for God to be able to harden the heart of the ruler. This leader's character (heart) must have already had the properties present to be harden. Simply said, if your ex-spouse of ex-wife or husband states that the divorce made them evil, they are lying to you. The evilness was already there. The divorce was just the catalyst that allowed what was already there to surface.

Let's hear your story!!! In what why did that lovable person you were so in love with change after it was over? (Comment below)