Falling in Love with Apples. My Week of Reconciliation

            It was seven years ago when I had an inescapable idea of climbing this enormous apple tree. It was a tree that, I had noticed on my journey for months. It was a tree, whose leaves would wave at me while I traveled on my familiar routes. During my passing, this tree's engaging fruity smell would take flight in the wind and capture my attention with the sweetest aroma my nose had ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I was seduced by the soft howling of the wind that whispered “Come here young fellow, come here!” My mind escaped my body which pleaded for my lips to answer this call. This invitation to climb masturbated my heart while penetrating my soul. I longed to touch its ant infested bark.

            So I got out of my car, jumped the privacy fence and commenced to climb and with each step the bark yelled, YES, YES, YES!! I reached out for the reddest of the red and falling to the ground with this prize in my hands, my teeth raped the skin of this wooden mother's offspring.  It was the sweetest apple I had ever tasted and for once in my life I thought I was in heaven. I fell to the ground and licked the residue from my hands. At last, I had found a nutritious supplement that would keep me emotionally full for the rest of my days.

            My apple induced coma was interrupted by fruit pickers from across the field. “Hey there, hey you, stop eating my pears! Stop it I say!” Their voices approached as I rose in protest “This is an apple, how dare you insult the beauty of this fruit by lowering it properties to that of a dirty pear. How dare you sir?” I grabbed a hand full of apples and ran quickly to my car and drove away in hast. How could anyone confuse this apple for a pear? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. There should be a crime against folks who don’t know the value and beauty of an apple. I will take these babies home, put them in jars and save them until one day the world will appreciate its beauty. It will be on this day of reconciliation that I will then present them to everyone’s envy.

            Earlier this week, I went to my cabinet and opened a fresh jar of pears and threw them into the trash…..

Moral: Sometimes the battle would be won a lot sooner if we would admit what others have already known... Happy divorce