My Black History / Valentine’s Day Moment in the Cotton Fields of Krogers on Drake Avenue

                  Over the last couple of years, it has been a growing tradition for me to give my readers an inspirational yet informative Valentine’s Day blog. Unfortunately, this year I have been faced with a number of trials and tribulations which has prevented me from blogging as often as I would have liked to. My blogs all originate from personal events and it is very difficult for me to blog any situation that I have not personally experienced. Today, I have been inspired to share with you (my readers) a personal Black History/Valentine’s Day moment that I experienced a couple weeks ago. This entry was one that I was perplexed on whether to actually write about however in the spirit of these two made up holidays, I must submit. The following events occurred almost exactly as I will describe them, however I have had to change the names and some of the scenery to protect the innocent. So grab yourself a hot beverage and enjoy the following;

                It was a cold and rainy February day, when I decided to get on my horse called Volkswagen and ride to the local market. This is a market that is located on Captain Drake Avenue's property. The Kroger family established this business many years ago and it has become a very lucrative venture for both the city of Huntsville and its inhabitants. It is a place where individuals can purchase food as well as entertainment from Red box, a shoeshine vendor that has a booth located at the entrance of the Kroger store. On this day, I was in the midst of returning entertainment DVDs to this vendor and as I turned to mount old Volkswagen, I was immediately approached by a young maiden with a pleasant smile. She said “Cap'm David, how you be? I’s know it’s been suching a mighty long time since I’s be seeing you,” she declared in that famous Huntsville vernacular “we’s should meet again, very soon”.

                I was perplexed, as she spoke for I did not know who she was nor was I familiar with her family crest. I smiled and nodded my head in a friendly gesture to suggest that I understood her vernacular however she had me at a disadvantage. While she was talking, my mind pondered on finer things, I thought about how cold it was that day, the movie that I had just returned to Red box and the menu for my evening meal. My thoughts were interrupted when she stated “here’s be my number, call wince ever you be free cuz'n I’s been free for a couple of yen now”. I quickly begin to understand her language; for she was telling me that she now was divorced and wanted to reconnect with me on a later date. My problem was, I still had no idea who she was nor where she came from, however this mystery would soon be solved, when I opened the small piece of paper she had placed in my cold hands. This was when my memory quickly returned.

                The name scribbled on this dirty little piece of cotton paper read: Felicia. I then remembered it was one and a half decades ago that this woman shared living quarters with me. In those days she was a fair maiden, who would cook and clean for me each day and her only wish was that I would marry her. However, to her surprise I decided that marriage was not something that I was interested in at that particular stage in my life. After hearing the news, which was delivered during the Christmas season, she decided to gather her belongings and return to her family. I recall sitting and drinking the Nectar of the Gods, as she packed her last article of clothing and headed for the front door. It was at this time, that she looked back and decided she would abduct my Christmas tree. We commenced in a holy tug of war, which cause many of the branches to be amputated from the trunk of this tree. I returned the tree to a corner and continue to drink my nectar.
                As I rode off on old Volkswagen, I felt a moment of sadness as I thought to myself; “was I a bad guy back in those days?” Then I remembered the rest of this story, for it was in the last chapters of this tale that I fixed Felicia up with a dear friend of mine. They got married and had a couple of children. However, I can’t say that they lived happily ever after because she had just declared to me that she had her freedom papers. I am not happy for her divorce but I am happy that I was able to put her in a position to be married, those many years ago. This story has renewed my faith and both Black History and Valentine’s Day because it reminds me that I have had a rich history of love. So on this Valentine’s Day, I would like to encourage my readers to reminisce on past loves while appreciating their present positions, happy Valentine’s Day to all, and to all a good night.

Merry Christmas: The True Meaning of Christmas....

Big Spring Park
Huntsville, Al

          Christmas is one the most festive, materialistic and holy holidays of the year. Throughout the years, I’ve come to understand that the meaning of Christmas transcends verbal, written and audible definitions. I would postulate that Christmas is an entity that has become part of our social DNA. This day has transformed into much more than just a collection of religious events. This is evident by the fact that it is celebrated by many non-Christian groups. December 25, has become known synonymously as the day when people are more generous and family oriented. I am not suggesting that this holiday does not offer a social benefit to mankind, because it does. This holiday offers unity to and for its participants. It is spiritual fuel for the religious while offering monetary rewards to a capitalistic society.

            There are many people who have propagated the myth that the holidays are a catalyst for an increase in suicides. It should be noted that many “studies in different Western countries have found the drop [in suicides to be]… more pronounced during the Christmas to New Year’s stretch” (Ballas, 2009). So while it is true, there will be individuals who will experience new empty roles in their family units during the holiday season, a large number of these people have learned to adapt. The resilience of the American family continues to be the staple for this ever-expanding culture. The holiday season, especially Christmas and Thanksgiving, has become the symbol of social assimilation and individuals who refuse to worship these “holy days,” can easily find themselves socially banished.

Christmas Tree Trail
Huntsville, Al.

            There is nothing in Western culture that has a solid “black and white” meaning; instead everything can be defined and faded shades of “grays”. The holiday season has no exemption, for they are much more than a dichotomy of sad and happy times. This is the time when Christians and non-Christians go out of their way to do good deeds. It is in these times that people are more likely to volunteer to help the homeless, to lend money into accept forgiveness from others. Some people have speculated that people are happier because they “spend more time interacting with other friends and family on these holidays” (Killingsworth, 2012). I think that there’s merit in that argument however I would postulate that the Christmas holiday season has been embedded in our DNA through years of repetitious rituals.

This is evident in the fact that many individuals, no matter how old, can always remember at least three passed Christmases. Even though, they may not be able to remember what the tooth fairy replaced their first tooth with or the first day of school. This is because the Christmas holidays have been branded in their minds as well as a subliminal message of capitalism. The term “Black Friday” has little meaning in communist societies however there are few Westerners who are not aware of this grand shopping day. I would further suggest that if there were no merchandise to sell the Christmas season will lose a lot of its attraction.

Christmas is the time of the year when Christians, who mostly believe that lying is wrong, decide that for this one day lying to their children is okay. It is a lie that even national and local media are more than willing to participate in. It is a time when members of anti-pedophile communities are willing to let their children sit on the laps of disguised older man, without asking for a background check. Yes, Christmas and the holiday season is a time of year when burglars and con artists prey own the goodwill of all mankind. The time of year when reason is thrown out the window, where credit cards are maxed out in the hope that under the tree eternal happiness will on Christmas day, be discovered.

 

Ballas, C. (2009, January 07). Suicide Rates and the Holidays. Retrieved from Health Central: http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/49/54818/suicide-holidays

Killingsworth, M. (2012, December 23rd). We Aren't Happier on the Holidays. Retrieved from The New Your Times; The Opinion Pages: http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/12/23/why-arent-people-happier-during-the-holidays/we-are-happier-on-the-holidays

 

                       

           

Falling in Love with Apples. My Week of Reconciliation

            It was seven years ago when I had an inescapable idea of climbing this enormous apple tree. It was a tree that, I had noticed on my journey for months. It was a tree, whose leaves would wave at me while I traveled on my familiar routes. During my passing, this tree's engaging fruity smell would take flight in the wind and capture my attention with the sweetest aroma my nose had ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I was seduced by the soft howling of the wind that whispered “Come here young fellow, come here!” My mind escaped my body which pleaded for my lips to answer this call. This invitation to climb masturbated my heart while penetrating my soul. I longed to touch its ant infested bark.

            So I got out of my car, jumped the privacy fence and commenced to climb and with each step the bark yelled, YES, YES, YES!! I reached out for the reddest of the red and falling to the ground with this prize in my hands, my teeth raped the skin of this wooden mother's offspring.  It was the sweetest apple I had ever tasted and for once in my life I thought I was in heaven. I fell to the ground and licked the residue from my hands. At last, I had found a nutritious supplement that would keep me emotionally full for the rest of my days.

            My apple induced coma was interrupted by fruit pickers from across the field. “Hey there, hey you, stop eating my pears! Stop it I say!” Their voices approached as I rose in protest “This is an apple, how dare you insult the beauty of this fruit by lowering it properties to that of a dirty pear. How dare you sir?” I grabbed a hand full of apples and ran quickly to my car and drove away in hast. How could anyone confuse this apple for a pear? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. There should be a crime against folks who don’t know the value and beauty of an apple. I will take these babies home, put them in jars and save them until one day the world will appreciate its beauty. It will be on this day of reconciliation that I will then present them to everyone’s envy.

            Earlier this week, I went to my cabinet and opened a fresh jar of pears and threw them into the trash…..

Moral: Sometimes the battle would be won a lot sooner if we would admit what others have already known... Happy divorce

My Happy Birthday Blog.. Made it another day

What is the meaning behind the term Happy Birthday? For many people it is a day of celebration, a day to reminisce over past days and to be hopeful that if you live long enough you will be blessed with the opportunity to experience more. It is a celebratory day where we (the recipients) will rejoice in the decision that our parents made years ago. I believe wishing someone a happy birthday is one of the greatest human gestures that an individual can bestow upon another. It is a phrase that says “I acknowledge that you are here and I celebrate your years of existence, even though it was not your choice to enter the world, you have made a conscious or unconscious choice everyday to continue living, and for that my existence has been greatly influenced by your presence.” This form of social acknowledgement is one of the highest praises we can give. It is the closest thing we can do in our imperfect bodies that mirrors Godliness.

Today is my birthday, and I have to say that I am truly pleased with the well wishes that I have received. On days like these I am taken back to the greatest birthday present I ever received in my adulthood from a friend. Let me share.

It happened about fifteen years ago when a friend of mine called me at work and told me that she had forgotten something over my house the night before. I told her that she was welcome to come by and pick it up when I got off from work. She refused my offer and said that she would just come by my job and get the keys because she needed this item right away. She did and when she arrived at my job, she told me that she would just wait for me at my place until I got off. I told her that would be fine even though I was a little curious because this new behavior of hers was out of the ordinary. Well when I got home from work she had cleaned my place, cooked dinner, baked a cake and invited all of my friends over. I was overcome with emotion when I heard “Happy Birthday!!!” from my friends as I walked through the door.  

This birthday gift set the standard for every birthday I would have in the future. I believe that there is only handful of people in the world that you will ever meet; that will take a vested interest in your life. Although your interaction with them may be brief the connection will last forever. Today is my birthday and today I would like to share it with everyone that thought enough to appreciate my existence. I would like to extend my heart in gratitude with a simple “ty”.  

My Early Birthday Gift

                Yesterday something unexpected, beautiful and ground shaking happened to me. I was lying on the couch going over some paperwork, when my mother called. I have not spoken to her in over 2 weeks (I know shame on me) and this was one of those check-up calls that we give each other from time to time. After a few minutes of exchanging niceties my mother asked “Do you know what I have been doing this morning?” “No” I responded wandering where was this leading question going. “I have been up this morning reading your book; you know the book you wrote several years ago?” “Yes, I am familiar with it”. (Several years ago I self published a book that chronicled my journey from sin to redemption. I sold about 75 copies) She went on to ask me if it was okay for her to read a loud one of the spiritual passages that I wrote. I told her that would be fine.

My mother began to read my poem as if the words belonged to her and not her only surviving son. After she had read the last line, she stopped and asked me “That was beautiful and sad, David. You know this book never got the credit it deserved, but one day you will receive your credits in heaven”. I was left speechless, knowing that that the words I wrote many years ago on loose pieces of toilet paper in a bathroom stall was resurrected.

Troy comes into work to look for a file and Brenda has surprise

Check it out!!

Christmas Crack: Just Say NO

Empty Roles would like to wish all of our readers and supporters a Happy Holiday and a very blessed and prosperous New Year.

Now with that said, I feel that it is the duty of Empty Roles to shine a light on the social behaviors that continue to occur.  I subscribe to the belief that if we do not recognize our disruptive behaviors, we will not possess the drive to change them. This is why Empty Roles, has elected to project these societal errors to our readers.

We are living in a world that is built on addictions, some of which are acceptable while others are not. Those that we deem as being acceptable we take extra efforts to defend and condemn those that disagree with our positions. I have to ask, is a person that spends their payroll check on crack cocaine and neglects to pay their bills any better than a person that goes into debt standing in line at Wal-Mart on Black Friday. Both individuals are participating in disruptive behavior. However society looks at one as acceptable while condemning the other. I would postulate that both scenarios create a breeding ground for empty roles. These behaviors have the possibility of removing vital resources from the family unit.

I feel that we as a society should just stand up and “ say NO” to the evils of Christmas crack. Instead of teaching our children to stand in line hankering for material goods we really don’t need, let’s stay  home and teach them how to take care of the things they already have in their possession.

Jerry’s Kids: The Role of a Pedophile

You can't turn on the news this week without being bombarded with the horrific sex scandal that has plagued the Penn State campus. It has been described as the most shocking event to ever surround college sports. It is an event that has caste a dark cloud on the campus as well as the coaching staff.  I believe that this incident has a direct relationship with empty roles. As, our society continues to progress we will witness more symptoms of this condition.

 Let me begin by stating that I think that it is truly a tragedy what has happened to those boys at the hand of Jerry Sandusky, and I feel that if he did what reports have alleged, he should be ashamed of his actions. The role of the pedophile that he filled is a deviate societal creation; and my heart goes out to the boys who have become victims and had their lives transformed because of the deeds of this man. I feel that every person is responsible for his/her own actions however there are catalysts in our environment that allow such deviance as these to occur and prosper.

An empty role is one of the most devastating things can happen to a community.  It can occur even if both parents are present in the child’s life.  It is the entity that has been instrumental in destroying the fabric of our society.  I would hope that when men and women make the conscious decision to separate themselves from their children, they realize that this may be one of the products of their choice. It also is very important for women, who have allowed the legal system to develop a hole in their families, to understand that this is a threat.

In the case of the young boys that were allegedly raped by Mr. Sandusky, I would propose that the role of hero, father or parent was absent in the majority of these boy’s lives. I have met many women who have invited such activities in their homes by looking for “a man that would treat their children as his own.” We have to be very careful with what we wish for, because it might come true. The Penn State incident would not have occurred if there wasn’t an empty role available. Jerry was allowed to fill this role. It is impossible to enter a room through a closed door and I think the outrage should also be extended to the parents that allowed their children to be exposed to this coach as much as the pedophile who walked through their proverbial doors.

The Women's Kingdom: One of the world's last Matriarchal cultures

By popular demand I am posting the two part documentary of the Musco people. This is a culture where the women are in charge. The men take care of the children and the divorce rate is the lowest in the world, zero. It is a place where women can have as many male partners as they chose.  This is where Uncles are more important than fathers. The only problems they have know is the tourist who are invading their way of life.

Part one and Two of The Women's Kingdom

                                        Part 1

Part 2

                

Arranged Marriages tend to be more successful..

In places like India, 90% of the marriages are arranged. They have one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. Is this a system that we, as Americans, should adapt? Marriage is a large part of our society therefore it shouldn't be unreasonable for us to enter into this institution with our "eyes" wide open. Our system of marriage is built on the emotion called "love",and all emotions are unstable.

The following video is a typical interview that modern Indians have with their potential life partners. This is a depiction of the couple first meeting. Good idea?

A Masculine Shoulder to Cry On / Talking is good for the Soul

It is a known fact that women live longer than males in our society (See http://statehealthfacts.org/comparebar.jsp?cat=2&ind=59). They enjoy longevity, even though they are burden with some the same stresses and harmful diseases that their male counterparts are also inflicted with. The female members of the Homo sapien species somehow survive and go on to live productive lives. Why they are able to be met the same challenges that their male counterparts are met with and have a better survival rate, is a mystery to many? Are these females naturally stronger than the men? We understand that early detection is one of the leading reasons that many diseases are not allowed to grow to their maturity, and many members of this order are known to take full advantage of the medical technology that is available to them. However, if this was the only determining factor that separated the females from the males, the statistical values would represent this, they don’t.   

It is true that these females are more involved in their health and that a large percentage of them are not participants in the riskier social behavior that the males enjoy,  however the reason that women tend to have a better quality of life has more to do with the makeup of human society. MEN ARE BREED FOR FAILURE.. It is that simple, society has systems in place that do not allow men to actively express their physical, social or emotional needs and because of this, these stresses become the catalysts for other diseases and disorders. Let me elaborate; consider the following statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hus/hus10.pdf#067).

Hypertension 2,3
(high blood pressure and/or				Uncontrolled high blood pressure
Sex, age, race and Hispanic origin 1 ,	taking antihypertensive medication)			among persons with hypertension 4
and percent of poverty level	1988–1994	1999–2002	2005–2008	1988–1994	1999–2002	2005–2008

Male . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .	26.4	28.8	31.6	83.2	73.3	63.8
Female . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .	24.4	30.6	29.8	68.5	61.8	48.5

The numbers postulate that men have had a steady increase in taking medications for hypertension since 1988 with a decline in cases of uncontrolled hypertension, moreover women have declined at a much higher rate than men. These numbers suggest that men ARE concern with their health, which is represented by their decline in cases of uncontrolled high blood pressure.  So the theory, that men are not involved in their health is untrue.

The reason that women tend to be healthier and live longer is simple, they have support groups. These support groups allow them a social vehicle to release stresses which creates, for them a lighter social burden. LESS STRESS = HEALTHIER LIFE.  They are not smarter or wiser, they just have found a way to adapt to their environment, and that way is through productive and active speech.

Winner’s Never Quit and Quitters Never Win

How many times have we heard this saying, when we were growing up?  I want you to think back to each and every time someone has had the audacity to articulate these so-called words of “encouragement” to you.  I would postulate that about 90% of the time it was when they were attempting to motivate you to do something that you did not want to do or something that you didn’t have the energy to complete.  I would like to speculate that quitting is not a bad thing, at least not always. I think that there are too many times in life when we prolong unnecessary suffering because we feel that at the end of these horrible journeys, we will receive some type of award. The truth is we won’t.

                I would also suggest that quitting things that we start is a huge part of our American society. It is what makes us who we are. A Nation of Quitters!!!

For example:

We quit on our children…

Percentage of children up for adoption in 2010

State	Alaska Native/ American Indian	Asian	Black	Hawaiian/ Other Pacific Islander	Hispanic (of any race)	White	Unknown/ Unable to Determine	Two or more races	Total N
Alabama	.0%	.0%	29.7%	.0%	9.4%	53.0%	.2%	7.8%	606

                                                                                                                                (http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb)

We quit on education…

Nearly 6.2 million students in the United States between the ages of 16 and 24 in 2007 dropped out of high school (http://articles.cnn.com/2009-05-05/us/dropout.rate.study_1_dropouts-enrollment-graduations?_s=PM:US)

We quit on religion…

Olson's findings contain a ton of bad news. For starters, his research found that the percentage of Americans regularly attending church is only 18.7%. (http://themoralcollapseofamerica.blogspot.com/2008/10/church-attendance-in-america-is.html)

And yes, we quit on our spouses…                                                                                                                                                         

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73% (http://www.divorcerate.org)

            As you can clearly see, quitting is a cultural norm and even though you may quit in one aspect of your life, in another you may become a winner...So let’s all raise our hands for the people who are not afraid to say “I QUIT”